COVID 2020

Well, I haven’t been blogging much in the past few months, so I figured what better post to bring me back than one about our experience with COVID. I’m a junky when it comes to posts about daily symptoms, so I thought I would jump in with my own. Who knew a post about COVID would be the safe bet over what I really want to blog about…..politics, religion, and adopted children on display…..kidding…..kinda.

Anyway, I digress…..

Two weeks ago, COVID started making its way through some of our families at the church and I was in close contact with someone who tested positive. Now, because the rules are so crazy, I wasn’t actually made to quarantine but started paying attention to every little symptom that might have been out of the ordinary. I even got tested to be safe and it was negative.

My exposure happened from someone who tested positive on a Thursday and last Sunday morning I woke up feeling super queasy and actually almost passed out. I stayed home from church (we were online but I was going early to help) just to be safe and cancelled my plans for the day. I assumed I had a stomach bug because my only symptom was nausea.

Monday, I woke up fine so figured it was a short lived bug. However, throughout the day I developed a cough and by 1:00 I could barely stay awake. I made an appointment to get a test again and this one was positive. By this point, my legs felt like they weighed 500 lbs. and simply walking was torture. Thankfully, the kids were out of school on fall break, so we gathered up the babies and started our quarantine.

Monday night, J.O. started feeling puny and by Tuesday the body aches were in full force. His back was the first thing to hurt him. He made an appointment that same day and also tested positive. On Tuesday night, Addison also started feeling badly and she stayed in bed for around 24 hours. It was very mild with only fatigue and leg aches.

Last week was full of body aches for J.O., headaches for both of us, extreme nausea for me, and fatigue for us both. We both ended last week by losing our sense of smell and J.O. lost all taste. Our days alternated between helping the kids with virtual school (4 of them), and keeping the babies occupied until nap time. Our routine consisted of lots of high chair time, outside time, and paying the older kids to watch the younger ones. There were days I really had no idea how I was going to survive until bedtime and it was only 9:30 am.

COVID is no fun. I can’t compare it to the flu because I’ve never had the flu but J.O. assured me they both stink terribly bad. I’m super thankful Henry has so far remained unscathed but it’s definately not for his lack of trying. That child is attached to my hip. There is a huge praise in the fact that for some reason kids seem to handle this with little to no symptoms. However, those little germ infested beings are great at passing it to us.

This is not a debate on the death rate, whether or not everyone will eventually get it, and so forth. This is truly just my experience. My family is not throwing big back yard barbecues although we are back at work and school. We wear masks, wash hands, and stay home if we are sick. It’s worth noting the people I saw on Saturday did not get sick and we wore our masks properly the entire time. And according to the timeline, Saturday would’ve been my most contagious day. My exposure came from a meeting where I drank coffee while sitting close to someone unknowingly infected….hence my mask was down. Rookie mistake that I won’t make again.

I’ll be honest….any virus you get as a parent stinks. But, I’ve never had something that left me wanting to sleep as much as this or made me feel as groggy as this. One night, J.O. got up to go to the restroom and just passed out cold. Why? Who knows. So, please don’t buy into the myth that it’s not that bad, unless you are truly able to sleep for 14 days and start your own home IV of fluids and meds. J.O. and I might have fared better under those circumstances too. But, that’s not reality. Our reality was both adults sick while keeping a 14, 11, 8, 7, 2, and 1 year old fed and alive. And 4 of them in school.

But, I digress again. I know better than anyone that life happens. We are a foster family for goodness sakes. We invite living cess pools of germs into our home and will continue to do so until the Lord releases us. Our reality is quite different than other families and I’m okay with that. We chose this life. So in the meantime, we will continue to wear masks diligently, wash hands, and line up for the vaccine.

It’s okay to not be okay.

I’ve started and stopped so many blog posts over the past few months. Some I have actually written but only sent to my spouse or a friend. They were some of my best posts if I do say so myself…..but I would’ve been in big trouble for posting them. Some I have written and completely deleted. Honestly, I’ve been in an odd place and haven’t been willing to keep putting my thoughts out there. So I haven’t.

But, I realized something. I love blogging. I love writing. In fact, I’ve actually completed a book about our fostering and adoption journey that I will probably never do anything with. Why? Because I’m so unsettled with things right now. My view of adoption is ever changing, Henry’s story is so raw and personal, and Anna and Grace are growing up without the privilege of their birth mom in their life. And all of that is tough. And ugly. And not wrapped up in a neat little bow.

And I thought I was okay with that. But I’m not.

I also realized I’m not okay with the criticism that comes with this journey or the opinions. I’m not okay with social media tearing families and churches apart. I’m not okay with seeing posts celebrating the termination of parental rights. I’m not okay hearing people tell me I’m special because we take kids in. I’m not okay with people acting like we are a one trick pony. I’m not okay seeing people tear each other apart over politics.

There’s just a lot happening that seems to not be okay.

Don’t get me wrong: This is not a post about longing for the Pre-Covid world. This is about longing for a world filled with Jesus. Period.

A world where we love unconditionally. Live together despite differences. Take care of people stuck in poverty because it’s our calling and not our obligation. We take people cookies instead of stealing their yard signs. We worry more about being like Christ and less about pleasing man. A world without abuse, neglect, poverty, racism, sexism, and so on and so on.

A world where it’s okay to not be okay and for that we are welcomed into loving arms. And not judged from arms length.

But we seem to be running in the opposite direction of that. So, instead of writing I feel like I’m constantly playing defense. And hopefully that will end soon. Because this mama is tired. And on top of that…..I really don’t like sports.